Saskatchewan·First PersonAfter moving to Canada from Dubai, Musfirah Jamal learned to navigate the challenges of middle school friendships by doing whatever she could to fit in. But when a friend cut off ties with her abruptly, she realized it had been a mistake to give up her own identity to find belonging.I realized seeking validation from others came at a priceMusfirah Jamal · for CBC First Person · Posted: Nov 16, 2025 4:00 AM EST | Last Updated: 6 hours agoListen to this articleEstimated 6 minutesThe audio version of this article is generated by text-to-speech, a technology based on artificial intelligence.After immigrating to Canada, Musfirah Jamal said middle school was confusing, but over time, she came to learn valuable lessons about the meaning of friendship. (Amavi Weerakoon/CBC) This First Person article is the experience of Musfirah Jamal, who moved from Dubai to Regina in 2022. For more information about CBC’s First Person stories, please see the FAQ. Everything about my first day of classes in Canada felt confusing — new people, new classes, new rules. And why in the world was everyone removing their shoes and putting on another pair? Being a shy, awkward middle schooler didn’t help. It felt like I had landed on another planet.It was the fall of 2022 and my family and I had just moved from Dubai to Regina that summer. Everything felt unfamiliar. I missed Dubai, but something inside me wanted to stay and see what this new place could teach me. What I didn’t know is that this experience would show me my own inner strength. As the months passed, I started to adjust. I got used to wearing indoor and outdoor shoes and had finally learned the names of all my classmates but I was still the new, weird kid. Everything about school in Canada felt different for Jamal after her family moved to the country from Dubai. (Evan Mitsui/CBC)I could tell other students liked group projects, especially when they could choose their partners. But for me, they were nightmares since they meant that I had to put myself out there and force myself to get along with others. I was terrible at that. There were endless nights where I buried my head into my pillow, hoping my tears stopped before anyone heard me. Out of desperation, I tried to talk to people about the things that interested them, even if they made no sense to me. I felt like a chameleon, changing colours to match whoever I was around. A couple of months into the school year, I met someone who, like me, seemed lonely and lost. We started off waving at each other and exchanging small talk, but in no time we forged what felt like an unbreakable bond. We both had come from Dubai at about the same time and we called it a perfect coincidence. When Jamal met another student from Dubai, the two girls forged a tight bond quickly. (Amavi Weerakoon/CBC)We became best friends. Whenever she was absent, other students would always ask me why she wasn’t here. We hyped each other up for every little achievement. She helped me break out of my shell while I helped her with math. It felt different than any other friendship I’ve had. No one back then could convince me that we wouldn’t be friends forever.The first time we hung outside of school felt like a dream. It felt like I had come out of the cycle of darkness I had been stuck in and I finally belonged somewhere. I didn’t realize at the time I was still trying to change myself to fit in — for instance, pretending to like shows my friend enjoyed, when I had no interest in them. Like many friendships formed in middle school, the dream didn’t last. It started with small things like her avoiding me or calling less. Then she forgot my birthday – no text, no wish. So, when her birthday came around, I decided to do the same — not as revenge, but through a sense of resignation. A year into our friendship, we both started pulling away. Since I was no longer talking to her as much, my phone scrolling time went through the roof, along with my sense of isolation. I stopped joining family dinners and laughing with my brothers. If anyone tried to enter my room, I snapped. I just wanted to be in my own little world. It felt like my world was getting smaller as my best friend pulled away from me and spent more time with other people. The texts started drying up. I tried to call her more, becoming clingy. Looking back on it, I think now it was my big mistake. I had once been a bubbly and extroverted person, but now I’d become quieter and scared to confront issues head-on. If we had talked it through, could things have turned out differently?I knew our friendship was over the day she left me a note on my desk: a simple index card telling me she no longer wanted to be my friend.I laughed at first; ending a friendship with a note felt so childish. But then I realized that was all our friendship had meant to her — so little she could end it on an index card.When she left me that card, I realized I didn’t have control over her actions, or for that matter, anyone else’s actions. For a while, I pulled back from everyone because I didn’t think I could trust them. I didn’t want to risk giving someone else the power to leave me in a note. I became more cautious and private, and the circle of people I called friends grew smaller.Having made and lost a friend helped Jamal realize she couldn’t sacrifice parts of herself to fit in. (Amavi Weerakoon/CBC)The hurt lingered, but it shaped me. I’m no longer the girl who feels like she has to blend in just to belong or to pretend to like what other people like to fit in. I’m OK with having only a few real friends, because I know now that the right ones don’t break up with you over an index card.Over time, I realized the pain had a purpose. It taught me to set boundaries, to listen to my own voice and to choose people who made me feel fuller, not emptier. I didn’t need a crowd, I needed the right people — and I’ve kept the break-up index card as a reminder of that lesson.I learned to focus on building the genuine friendships I already had instead of chasing after new ones. I now have a few close friends I can trust, and I’ve become much closer with my family. Moving to Canada didn’t just bring me to a new country, it brought me closer to the person that I was meant to become. I may not be the same bubbly girl I was once upon a time, but I’m also not the shy, shaking girl who was afraid to talk in class or join in group projects.I’m not the girl who forgot herself. I’m who I’m meant to be.Do you have a compelling personal story that can bring understanding or help others? We want to hear from you. Email sask-first-person-grp@cbc.ca to learn more. ABOUT THE AUTHORMusfirah Jamal is 15 years old and a Grade 10 student in Regina. She enjoys writing poetry and reading.
I craved friendship after moving to Canada, but learned some friends aren’t worth having
